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What is kindness?
Kindness is all the different ways — both big and small — we express care, concern, and consideration for ourselves and those with whom we share the world.
Kindness shows up as a supportive smile, a comforting embrace, and a helping hand when we need it the most — but may expect it the least.
It exists as heartfelt words of encouragement, thoughtful gestures of affection, and compassionate acts of generosity so many of us witness, perform, and receive as we move through life.
In a world filled with struggle and pain, kindness is like a deep cleansing breath that rejuvenates us with its purity, refreshes us with its goodness, and gives us the strength to persevere despite our troubles.
The Lion and the Mouse
The Lion and the Mouse is a favorite Aesops Fable about kindness. It's hard to always be kind. Sometimes you just don't feel like it! This fable reminds us that we better be nice even when it's hard or we don't feel like it because we may need some kindness too someday!
A quick question
Have you ever tried to look up “kindness” in an official dictionary? If you have, you might have found a formal definition of kindness that looked a little something like this:
“The quality of being kind.”
While that may be an accurate definition of kindness, it can feel a bit disappointing because it doesn’t seem to do the word “kindness” justice.
Perhaps partly due to its briefness, the above kindness definition fails to convey kindness’ immensity. In addition, it creates the follow-up question of “well, then, what is the definition of kind?”
Another Way To Define Kindness
Kindness is a language spoken around the world. It crosses borders, religions, creeds and cultures. Kindness encourages us to:
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Treat one another as equals
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Celebrate what we have in common
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Delight in our differences
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Break down our barriers
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Build bridges between communities
It isn’t easy to define something as significant as kindness, so it’s understandable different people may define kindness in different ways.
Here’s one way to define kindness:
"Kindness is the sincere and voluntary use of one’s time, talent, and resources to better the lives of others, one’s own life, and the world through genuine acts of love, compassion, generosity, and service."
Moreover, kindness involves choice.
Kindness involves choice because there are many alternatives to kindness that will tempt us through life — including, of course, apathy and anger.
Circumstances may test us. People may try us. News may trouble us. Yet, despite these obstacles, we each have the beautiful ability to actively choose to be kind.
In addition, kindness involves choice because there are so many different ways to be kind. Every time each of us performs an act of kindness, we each get to choose fun answers to great questions such as the following:
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Who can I be kind to?
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How kind can I be?
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What acts of kindness can I do?
Choice doesn’t have to create complexity. In the case of kindness, it creates convenience. Since there are always opportunities and great ways to be kind, kindness will forever have a place in our lives and in our world as long as people continue to intentionally choose it.
If we want to know the real meaning of kindness, then we must take the time to intentionally spread kindness. More specifically, we must do the following:
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Be kind to others.
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Be kind to ourselves.
When we actively choose to be kind, we see the real power of kindness is best understood when realized, instead of just researched — when kindness is actually dispersed, instead of just discussed.
Moral Stories
The Three Questions by Leo Tolstoy
The 1908 story, Three Questions by Leo Tolstoy, is an interesting story about a King who believes that if one knows the answers to three particular questions, one would never fail in life. He seeks answers to these questions. The story is about his journey toward finding solutions. The story has themes of wisdom, knowledge, awareness, forgiveness, kindness, and acceptance. Throughout the story, the theme of wisdom is explored. The King is seeking wisdom from other people about how he can run his kingdom better. He is looking for answers and finally has to rely on a hermit. The hermit does not entirely agree with how the rich live their lives and suppress the financially weaker. He does not approve of the hierarchy. The story is based on the theme of knowledge because that is what the King was looking for. However, the King is looking for the answers outside when all of those are within him. The King is aware of his surroundings throughout the story. Throughout the story, Tolstoy tries to explain that the people who have questions about the way they must live their lives have the answers within themselves. The story puts forward the idea of being forgiving and accepting without any resentment. Resentment often clouds people’s judgment. The most important message is to do good for the people around you.
Pinduli
Pinduli, a young striped hyena, is hurt by the unkind words of Dog, Lion, and Zebra, but her clever trick in return promotes her clan's survival and spreads harmony throughout the savannah. Includes backmatter notes about hyenas and other animals of the African savannah.
Hve you filled a bucket today?
This charming story teaches that everybody carries an invisible bucket to hold all their good thoughts and good feelings about themselves. Having a full bucket makes you feel good about yourself, while having an empty bucket leaves you with uncomfortable feelings.
The Lion and the Mouse
The Lion and the Mouse is a favorite Aesops Fable about kindness. It's hard to always be kind. Sometimes you just don't feel like it! This fable reminds us that we better be nice even when it's hard or we don't feel like it because we may need some kindness too someday!
The Ant and The Dove
A good deed never goes unnoticed and comes back to us in one form or another. The dove's act of kindness returned to him when the ant saved his life from the hunter, i.e., if you do good, good will come to you.
The Invisible Boy
Meet Brian, the invisible boy. Nobody ever seems to notice him or think to include him in their group, game, or birthday party... until, that is, a new kid comes to class. When Justin the new boy arrives, Brian is the first to make him feel welcome. And when Brian and Justin team up to work on a class project together, Brian finds a way to shine.
Movies about Kindness
Pay It Forward (PG-13)
This movie is about a teacher who challenges his class to make a difference in the world and take action. Trevor McKinney comes up with the idea of paying favors forward to three people to keep the chain of kindness going. I love this movie because it shows how we can all have an impact on each other.
Winnie the Pooh (2011-G)
I have always been a fan of Winnie the Pooh and his friends. Even though they have their quirks, kindness, and compassion always win out in the end.
Untamed Heart (PG-13)
A quiet busboy and a waitress strike up an unlikely friendship after she is attacked and he saves her life. I love how kind she is to him in this movie because he is different and a loner.
The Blind Side (PG-13)
This movie is based on a true story about a homeless high school football player that is “adopted” by a wealthy family. It’s one of my favorites because it shows that no matter where you come from or what your circumstances are, you can achieve great things.
Dolphin Tale (PG)
A dolphin who has lost her tail is saved after friends and family convince a doctor who specializes in prosthetics to design a new tail for her.
Wonder (PG)
This movie is about a little boy named Auggie who has a facial deformity that has prevented him from going to a normal school. Many people around him struggle with their acceptance of him because he is different. However, Auggie soon becomes an unlikely hero, and his journey unites those around him. I love this story because it reminds us that we are all different and unique, that we are all born to stand out in our own way.
Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds (PG-13)
A businessman is jolted out of the routine of his normal life after meeting a struggling single Mom who works on the cleaning crew of his office building.
Letters to God (PG)-
A young boy with cancer writes letters to God, inspiring his friends, family, and community. These letters wind up in the hands of a postman who is at a crossroads in his life. Unsure of what to do with them, the decision he makes bolsters boys shining spirit and unshakeable faith.
New Amsterdam (TV)
New Amsterdam has become one of my favorite new shows. It’s about a doctor named Max Goodwin who sets out to go against the grain of the elite bosses above him and provide extraordinary care to his patients, no matter what. I love this show because it shows that thinking out of the box, kindness, and compassion can make a difference in people’s lives in more ways than one.
I Am Sam (PG-13)
This movie is about a mentally challenged man who is raising his daughter. Once she turns seven and her intellectual capacity surpasses her father, a social worker believes that Lucy would be better off in foster care. However, thanks to a lawyer named Rita, who takes on Sam’s case pro bono, he might have a fighting chance of keeping Lucy.
Same Kind of Different as Me (PG-13)
An art dealer becomes friends with a homeless man to save his marriage and put his life back together.
God Friended Me (TV)
This is my second favorite TV show of the moment. It’s about a guy named Miles who is an atheist who has his own podcast. God has been contacting him on Facebook with friend requests of people he is supposed to help. I love this show because of its original concept and positive outcomes each week. It just makes you feel good.
Quotes about kindness
Kindness is one of those attributes that makes a person beautiful. People who are kind go out of their way to help others not because they have to, but because it’s the right thing to do.
Genuinely good people do random acts of kindness in silence, without expecting anything in return. When you think about becoming the best version of yourself, this type of behavior should be among the first things to consider and the following kindness quotes are testimony of that.
BUDDAH
In separateness lies the world’s great misery, in compassion lies the world’s true strength
ROALD DAHL
I think probably kindness is my number one attribute in a human being. I’ll put it before any of the things like courage, or bravery, or generosity, or anything else… Kindness—that simple word. To be kind—it covers everything, to my mind. If you’re kind that’s it
AESOP
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
PABLO CASALS
I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance.
JAMES M. BARRIE
Always be a little kinder than necessary.
MARGARET MEAD
Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.
THEODORE ISAAC RUBIN
Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.
AMELIA BARR
Kindness is always fashionable, and always welcome.
ABRAHAM JOSHUA HESCHEL
When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.
BOOKER T. WASHINGTON
If you want to lift yourself up, lift someone else up.
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT
Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most.
AESOP
Always stop to think whether your fun may be the cause of another’s unhappiness.
People famous for their kindness
Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks, Mark Twain, Princess Diana, Florence Nightingale, Anne Frank, Helen Keller, Albert Schweitzer, Dalai Lama, Rev Desmond Tutu, Nelson Mandala, Jane Goodall, Jennifer Lopez, Barack and Michelle Obama, Maya Angelou, St. Francis of Assisi, Bill Gates, Angelina Jolie, etc...
Books to read about Kindness, Compassion and Generosity
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Little Beauty by Anthony Browne
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The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
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Bible Story – Jesus Heals the Leper
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Penguin by Dolly Dunbar
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Let Me Tell You About Compassion by Sue Webb
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The Selfish Crocodile by Faustin Charles and Michael Terry
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The Tiger Who Came to Tea by Judith Kerr
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The Selfish Giant by Oscar Wilde
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The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charles Mackesey
(source - ValuesbasedEducation.com)
Resources
Videos
Research
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https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/kindness-can-have-unexpectedly-positive-consequences/
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https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-heart-and-science-of-kindness-2019041816447
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Further more...
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